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In a stunning twist of irony, Canada’s prostitutes have proven to have more integrity than our dearest politicians.

Yesterday morning, a representative for POWER (Prostitutes of Ottawa/Gatineau Work, Educate and Resist) announced via Twitter that they would not be releasing a list of the Conservative politicians in Ottawa who are known among the city’s prostitutes to pay for sex. This tweet was released in response to a rumour that this list was in the works as a way of shining a light on the hypocrisy of C-36, the Tories’ controversial new prostitution bill.

The bill has faced outrage from sex workers and allies alike who believe that the Conservative party’s moralizing stance on prostitution would do nothing to protect sex workers, but rather would endanger them even more, as the industry would be pushed even further underground. Many in the sex industry view the politicians behind this bill as repulsively duplicitous and say that if they were to publish the names of the Conservative politicians who front cash to get ass, it’d be a longer list than you’d expect.

 

Are you hiding something, Peter?Andre Forget

Are you hiding something, Peter?
Andre Forget

 

Unfortunately, as much as all of us would love to know the juicy gossip about the Tories and their illegal sexual vices, the prostitutes of Ottawa will not be releasing this information. Why? Because slandering people to gain political clout is below them.

Deep breath. Take a moment to absorb that. POWER, an organization of prostitutes, a group of people thought of for centuries as the lowest common denominator of society, have just shown us that they have more honour and principles than the politicians, supposedly the leaders of our nation. Take that in. Has a Canadian politician ever chosen not to seize an opportunity to use delicate information to destroy the credibility of their opponent? Probably not. If so, I’ve never heard of it.

Emily Symons, a representative for POWER, said that the idea of releasing the names of these politicians was suggested as a possible tactic but “was shut down by some pretty strong voices who said they could not stand being part of a movement that would want to do this.”

Although POWER has definitively decided against exposing their clients to the public, the Ottawa organization’s chair says that there might be a rogue prostitute somewhere in Canada who could be preparing the release of such information. This hooking whistleblower would be a “martyr,” however, and would have a lot of trouble finding work as a prostitute ever again. They’d be something like the Edward Snowden of sex work, although we’re not sure if Russia would be down to grant amnesty in this case.

 

Edward?  Is that you?Cinque Quotidiano

Edward? Is that you?
Cinque Quotidiano

 

The politicians in Ottawa sure are lucky that the sex workers in town operate at a level of integrity far superior to their own. An act of virtue such as this is an outlier in today’s world, especially when it comes to sex and politics.

What this really says is that Ottawa’s prostitutes are better than the old saying; not all is fair in love and war.