The True North Times
  • Ineligible for the Supreme Court
  • For the sophisticated hoser
  • First to podcast with Wilfrid Laurier
  • It's Dynamite!
  • Exporting Beaver Hides to the Metropol since 1608
  • Winnipeg? There?
  • The only thing that Andrew Coyne DOESN'T hate
  • Peter Mansbridge’s bathroom reading material
  • Yet to be castrated by Margaret Wente
  • Now with 60 minute hours!

Politics are boring. Gambling is fun! This is perhaps the most tightly contested election in Canadian history. To commemorate just how much going in tonight is pure speculation, here are the betting odds for the 42nd Canadian Federal election.

 

Justin Trudeau Becoming Prime Minister—1:2

Trudeau Legalizes Marijuana as his First Act as PM—4:20

Trudeau Turns 24 Sussex into a Legal Brothel—1:69

Stephen Harper is Re-elected—1:1.00000001 (His home riding)

Odds of any political pundit getting election prediction right—0.1%, 19 times out of 20.

Thomas Mulcair becomes next Prime Minister—1:28

Mulcair shaves his beard in defeat—1:10,000

Mulcair occupies opposition leader’s office and refuses to leave—1:3

Stephen Harper wears Niqab to resignation speech—1:10

Doug Ford is announced as interim Conservative leader following a Harper defeat/resignation—1:8

Quebec announces secession immediately following the election of a pro-Niqab Party—1:20

Gilles Duceppe resigns as Bloc Leader for 2 consecutive elections—1:5

A three way tie between the NDP, Conservatives, and Liberals in which Gilles Duceppe becomes Prime Minister—1:100,000

Odds anyone is still paying attention to the election by the time Elizabeth May’s riding of Saanich-Gulf Islands is decided—3:10

Peter Mansbridge admits how envious he is of Stephen Harper’s hairpiece—1:5

Anyone elected named Jean Francois quits their party to join Forces et Démocratie—1:2

Peter Mansbridge is appointed the next governor general of Canada—1:7