Astronaut-turned-politician Marc Garneau may be the coolest man in Parliament. The first Canadian to go to space (take that Chris Hadfield) is also apparently hilarious, which makes him one of the True North Times’ favourite politicians. He was kind enough to stop obsessing over HD photos of Pluto for long enough to answer some questions for the True North Times. Talking hockey, space travelling, cute animals, some more hockey, and then a little bit of politics, Garneau didn’t disappoint. The Member of Parliament for Westmount-Ville Marie sarcastically answered all of our dumb questions (almost) and somehow found a way to say a few insightful things.
Dexter Doherty for True North Times (TNT): What is a bigger priority for Canadian sports—NHL hockey being returned to Quebec City or MLB baseball returning to Montreal?
Marc Garneau (MG): Getting some decent secondary scoring to help out Max Pacioretty.
TNT: It was recently revealed that Thomas Mulcair was in talks to become an adviser for the Conservative Party after leaving Quebec politics. Do you think this history of agreeing with both Left and Right wing policy means that he is a Liberal at heart?
MG: It depends on which part of the country he’s in.
TNT: Touques have been an iconic symbol of Canadian identity for some time, and hockey is akin to religion in much of Canada. Do you think one should have the right to wear a Montreal Canadiens touque during their citizenship oath ceremony?
MG: I think they should be mandatory.
TNT: Are you jealous of Chris Hadfield at all?
TNT: If you could send one Canadian politician to space for as long as you wanted who would it be and why?
MG: Pierre Poilievre – he would scare any lurking aliens.
TNT: Why do people make fun of Justin Trudeau’s hair and not Stephen Harper’s?
MG: There is something profoundly unfunny about Stephen Harper.
TNT: Would the Liberal party of Canada prefer to be the third party to an NDP government or opposition to another Tory government?
MG: I reject the premise of your question.
TNT: How do you think another Harper Majority would affect the separatist movement in Quebec?
MG: It would be joined by separatist movements in Atlantic Canada, Ontario, B.C. and wide swathes of the Prairies.
TNT: I asked an NDP MP what animal would be the ideal mascot for the Liberal Party and she said a chameleon, which is in all fairness both an awesome animal and a terrific response. If you had to pick an animal to represent each of the three parties which ones would you pick and why?
MG: A parrot for the Conservatives since they just repeat the same lines over and over, a lemming for the NDP because their economic policies would take us over a cliff, (and) the noble beaver for Liberals because we both helped build Canada!
TNT: How does Justin Trudeau stack up vis-à-vis his father?
MG: I believe he is taller.
TNT: Are you worried investment in drone technology will hurt the future job prospects of astronauts trying to follow in your footsteps?
MG: Who cares about those guys? I made it into space. 3 times!
TNT: What do you think the provincial NDPs victory in Alberta- supposedly a conservative stronghold- tells us heading into a Federal Election?
MG: Watch out for the Bloc Québécois in Newfoundland & Labrador this upcoming election.
TNT: What is more disrespectful: the Conservatives using ISIS imagery in an attack ad, possibly defying their own law, or the amount of taxpayers’ money they have spent on seemingly partisan advertising?
MG: Too close to call.
TNT: What would you say to the proposition that Elizabeth May should be allowed to participate in the Leader’s debates but only if she has as much to drink as she did before her Press Gallery Speech?
MG: I still think she was just overtired.
TNT: Do days spent in space count towards your citizenship being revoked under C-24?
MG: The Senate is looking into that.
TNT: Can we tax BC and Saskatchewan trees for all the carbon they are emitting via fire?
MG: Now I’m really depressed.
TNT: The Supreme Court of Canada recently overturned two sections of the Controlled Drug and Substances Act making medicinal marijuana legal in all forms, including in cool stuff like cookies and brownies. On top of that, it is a pillar in the Liberal platform that marijuana will be made legal in Canada if the LPC wins. As a proud member of a Party pushing for legalization what is your preferred way of ingesting marijuana?
MG: Transdermal patch.
A huge thank you goes out to Marc Garneau for the interview. He is one of the coolest Canadians ever and we appreciate him taking the time to make fun of stuff. Best of luck in the next election. Live long and prosper.