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Adult film star and producer, and Penthouse Pet of 2011, Nikki Benz, has announced her intent to run for mayor of Toronto. With five AVN award nominations, and three XBIZ award nominations (regrettably left abbreviated due to my chronic fear of those parts of the internet), Nikki has now set her sights on city hall.

 

I'd say "Brazzers" but it's already on the photo.Nikki Benz

I’d say “Brazzers” but it’s already on the photo.
Nikki Benz

 

Mike Strobel of the Toronto SUN remarked, “her career makes her highly qualified [for mayor], since it too involves screwing people while huffing and puffing and pretending to smile.” Luckily, she has a platform beyond her shoes.  She plans to expand LRT to the suburbs, and to create a National Masturbation Day.

Benz’s slogan is, appropriately, “trade in your Ford for a Benz,” and she faces stiff competition from a marijuana activista high-school student, a dominatrix, every aging politician in the Greater Toronto Area, Jack Layton’s widow, and a crack addict.  We’d say that this was a publicity stunt to draw attention to her pornos, but all the other candidates are so ridiculous that we think she may be genuine.

Alas, her entry into the race changes everything. We expect a debate between her and Barbie Bitch in short order to determine Toronto’s best master debater, and we’re crossing our fingers for the imminent sex scandal.