The True North Times
  • For the sophisticated hoser
  • Yet to be castrated by Margaret Wente
  • It's Dynamite!
  • The only thing that Andrew Coyne DOESN'T hate
  • Now with 60 minute hours!
  • Winnipeg? There?
  • First to podcast with Wilfrid Laurier
  • Ineligible for the Supreme Court
  • Peter Mansbridge’s bathroom reading material
  • Exporting Beaver Hides to the Metropol since 1608

You know you love someone not when you’ve seen them at their best, but, rather, when you’ve seen them at their worst, and you still can’t stay away.

– Facebook user

 

For months, The True North Times has been riding high, providing Canadians with current political news in a hilarious satirical format. The site was growing at an alarming rate, and it seemed like the bubble would never burst. Then, out of nowhere, disaster struck. Yesterday, at approximately 8:30 pm EDT, hackers took The True North Times offline. That’s why we need your help.

Politicians sensed a moment of weakness. With no one to hold them accountable, they began to air out their dirty laundry. Independent Liberal Senators refused to come clean about how much taxpayer money they had siphoned to pay for their spouses’ travel provisions. They wait until Canada’s de facto political police are offline before taking a stand against accountability…how convenient.

The Independent Liberals’ convenience was Canada’s inconvenience. As the hackers caused havoc on the worldwide web, Canadians from coast to coast to coast scrambled to learn what was going on in their country. What was Rob Ford doing now? Surely he would do something especially stupid during the website blackout. What about Justin Trudeau? Would the bozo eruption continue out of sight of the Canadian public? And Stephen Harper: what is the legal limit on Supreme Court appointments per hour? Would he exceed it? How many Conservative MPs would admit to overspending on their 2011 campaigns? Would Peter MacKay hire a woman? With no outrageously comedic outlet to report on this potential news, Canadians had to wait to learn the answers to their questions. It was absolute anarchy!

Then it ended. Minutes before an angry mob descended on downtown Montreal (reason unknown…these things happen every now and then in Quebec), the website came back online. Canadians were reconnected with their federal, provincial, and municipal politicians. We survived the storm.

Perhaps you weren’t aware of how much you needed rib-tickling political satire. Perhaps you thought everyone on Parliament Hill went to sleep when you did. Now you know you were wrong. Monday June 23, 2014 will live in infamy as the day the buck stopped nowhere. Help us make sure that never happens again by contributing to our campaign, a campaign to end political apathy and keep our politicians in check. Without us, who knows what they’ll do?

 

UncleEtco

 

You can donate to our campaign here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-true-north-times-help-us-bring-real-satire-to-canada