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Cover Photo adapted from @VoteRitch.

 

Our team recently had the chance to sit down (digitally) with Carlie Ritch, a candidate to succeed Rob Ford as mayor of Toronto. Carlie is a dominatrix by trade, and has a full platform ready to whip Toronto into shape. She offers leadership and discipline in the place of entrenchment and cynicism, and offers voters a change to give Toronto a fresh start in October.

 

The True North Times: Why did you enter this race? What are some traits that you think will help you?

Barbie Bitch: Dominance and leadership skills are parallel. In our industry, trust and discipline are supreme. I will dare to ask questions for which answers are needed, and I will battle for those whose voices are unheard and ignored. That’s why I entered.

 

TNT: Rob Ford recently announced his candidacy and pledged “Ford more years.” What will you be able to bring to the people of Toronto that he won’t?

BB: Order!

 

TNT: How difficult has the transition from dominatrix to politician been?

BB: Extremely easy.

 

TNT: Are you running under Barbie Bitch or Carlie Ritch? Why?

BB: Legally, it must be your actual name (Carlie Ritch).

 

TNT: What policies are you putting forward in your electoral platform?

BB: Platform:

Turning the Malting building into a music museum: all the information is online at Metronomecanada.com.

Children’s child support payments:  Every year, hundreds and thousands of children do not receive some or all of the support payments made by parents each year. At the age of 18, they are exonerated of their responsibility to pay any back payments. If you can’t forgive student loans, why should there be forgiveness in those types of payments? They say, “ask the woman with the stroller at the bus stop.” Well, instead, you should ask the woman who can’t afford to get on the bus! It may be provincial, but shouldn’t action be taken with the city?

School Nutrition programs:  These programs are crucial in child development. Starve the brain, bring on the pain. What our future would give for that bucket of chicken!

Ending cyber bulling: It’s simple: if you can’t use social media for positive promotion, then produce a facial recognition program and a screen shot to Facebook, Twitter, etc. Ban them for a month, do it permanently, if they want to post the same thing on someone else’s account and ban the other person as well. Then they will think twice before being an accomplice

Job creation: Just in [the social service sector] alone, there will be a job increase and a dip in welfare usage if we can provide more obtainable jobs. This is only a small taste of my platform, so keep checking back.

 

TNT: What do you expect your biggest challenge will be as election day draws closer?

BB: The ignorance of what people think about my profession.

 

TNT: The past eight months has seen Toronto featured everywhere from the Daily Show to the Kuwaiti press. How would you restore Toronto’s reputation on the international stage?

BB: Does a Dom not stand for control?

 

TNT: Toronto City Council has become famous for shouting sessions, tackling colleagues, drinking milk, dancing, and tickling one another. What type of environment would you try to create in the Ritch administration?

BB: It’s funny. It sounds exactly like what I do at work!

 

TNT: It seems like every other day, someone new is throwing their hat into the ring. What do you think that says about this race? How do you think you stand against seasoned politicians like Tory, Chow, and Ford?

BB: Anybody can look down at a binder for possible answers written by an unpaid for intern at a debate.

 

TNT: Lastly, if you could impart one piece of wisdom to our readers, what would you tell them?

BB: Not to look down on me for I am not the one naked on my floor.

 

 

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