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Dear Mr. Prime Minister,

I just want to say that you’re doing a great job with that whole unconstitutional separation business. In the Ukraine.

Society always dictates that we should confront our bullies, that it’s the solution, but clearly that’s the wrong notion to have. I think that what you’re doing with Russia is truly going to help Ukraine. Your office has cut off all ties with Russia and completely taken them off the Canadian radar, and that’s the right way to do things because it’s a safe bet. We are sending a strong message to Russia by saying… nothing, actually. If we don’t talk to them, they’re going to cave and they’re going to leave Ukraine alone. If we want to aid Ukraine, the Laws of Kindergarten are the best way to go about it.


Soviet propaganda is best propaganda

Starving this man of attention will ruin his resolve.


Furthermore, we’ve sent two monitors over to Ukraine to survey the tense situation there. What with Crimea happening, we’re keeping a careful eye out, aren’t we? The local parliament said that, through an “effective vote,” they are now part of Russia, while the Ukrainian PM insists that this is not the case. He said that Crimea “is and always will be an integral part of Ukraine.” There are even minorities present in Crimea who are committed to the region and will not leave there under any circumstances, such as the Tatars. The Tatars are a religious minority within Ukraine who contribute to the country’s identity and are firm in their will to stay in Crimea. Out of the 2 million people in Crimea, it’s unclear how many feel that the recent referendum was legitimate – although it is clear that the rest of the world does not condone it.

With the intensity of the Russian threat, Canada is right to downplay their reactions. The mature, sensible governments mustn’t overreact to Russia. Russia is trying to bait the rest of the world. By giving in to their mayhem, we might cause real civil uprising. Er…I mean, more than what’s already there. Germany’s Mrs. Angela Merkel was wise to rebuke Mr. Putin, as one might a small child. By telling a child it is wrong to steal, you might not stop them from stealing, but you have done your duty in informing the child that theft is wrong. It’s the same case with world politics, is it not? A referendum “YES” vote in Moscow may be illegal and against Ukraine’s constitution, but we have done our duty, have we not?

Our neighbours to the South have rightly spoken that, if Crimea is annexed, neither they nor the rest of the world will recognize it. As we always do, we will follow our neighbour’s fine example and continue to ignore the problem. Canada needn’t cause any more tension in this situation. Someone must play the part of sitting out and watching, and we are doing a fine job of it.

We’ve told the Russian government we disapprove of their actions, we’ve sent two monitors over to Ukraine to help Ukrainians feel safe, and we’ve stopped any sort of direct contact with Russia. What more can we do?

Russia is looking for attention, and we shouldn’t give it to them, so I commend you, Prime Minister Harper. We are doing a mighty fine job of ignoring the bully. After all, ignoring a problem always makes it go away.