The True North Times
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We’ve taken you pumpkin racing in Nova Scotia, sea monster hunting off the coast of British Columbia, and you’ve seen the many gophers of Torrington, Alberta.Without further ado, here are the ten most unfortunately-named places in Canada that actually exist, further proof that the True North is about as crazy as it gets. 

Malignant Cove


Located in Antigonish County, Malignant Cove was named for the warship Malignant that sailed to Quebec from England during the American Revolution, and was driven ashore during a storm. Malignant Cove was then colonized by the surviving soldiers– a little invasive of them, one might think *rim shot*. Today, there are approximately 786 people in Malignant Cove. Notable residents: The Phantom Ship of the Northumberland Strait…


Shag Harbour


A small fishing community along the south shore of Nova Scotia in Shelburne County, Shag Harbour made headlines when an Unidentified Flying Object crashed into the nearby waters on October 4th, 1967. Fun fact: The population is almost half that of Malignant Cove (approximately 450 residents and several thousand lobster) and they have their own Wikipedia page.


Witless Bay


Settled because of its proximity to the rich fishing grounds of Grand Banks (that is, until we fished Atlantic Cod to death), the isolated coastal town of Witless Bay is home to 1,065 coffee-shop frequenters, a Whale and Puffin Tour operator, and “several craftspeople”. Apparently, the name derives from its founder, Captain Whittle, so we can only assume that he was the one without his wits. Notable Residents: The Majestic Atlantic Puffin and Leach’s Storm Petrels.  In other words, birds. There are a lot of birds in the Witless Bay Ecological Reserve.




Unfortunately named and even more unfortunately situated, Dildo can be found on the southeastern Dildo Arm of Trinity Bay, just north of South Dildo (just offshore: Dildo Island), and 60 km west from St John’s.  Settled in 1711, the town of Dildo was one of the largest whaling ports in North America. Don’t let the name scare you away; Dildo is home to a four and a half star Bed and Breakfast, as well as exhilarating boat tours and archaeological digs. Fun fact: all the campaigns to change the name of the town have failed.


Ochiichagwe’Babigo’Ining, Ojibway Nation

This Ojibwa or Saulteaux First Nation reserve is in Kenora District, Ontario. Home to approximately 334 Indigenous Peoples, Ochiichagwe’Babigo’Ining (try saying that three times fast) recently settled two grievances against Hydro One and the Ontario Power Generation for misappropriation of land and the detrimental flooding of Ojibwe territory. Notable Residents: Lorraine Cobiness, Chief of the Ojibwe Nation.


Punkeydoodles Corners


Known for the frequent theft of their sign, Punkeydoodles Corners is a quiet hamlet in Southwestern Ontario. No one is entirely sure where the town got its name, but rumour has it that the German owner of the only tavern in town would sing a garbled version of “Yankee Doodle” that sounded more like “Punky doodle”. Best day ever: when Joe Clark was present in Punkeydoodles Corners for Canada Day in 1982. This became officially known as the most prominent moment in Punkeydoodles’ history.




Boasting a population of 182 in a solitary kilometre square, Climax is situated in Lone Tree No. 18, Saskatchewan, just north of our neighbours to the south. This prairie town is known for the running joke used by drivers coming north into Canada from the United States along a road known as the “Honeymoon Route”: I get to Havre, Montana, then Turner, but I never make it to Climax! Oh the puns. Fun fact: Climax was featured in an edition of Trivial Pursuit. The question: What is written on the back of the welcome sign? The Answer: Come again.




They claim it was named for the Roman god of Fire, but my fellow Trekkies and I know that, by some blip in the space-time continuum, the residents of Vulcan, Alberta almost certainly made first contact in 1915 before the rest of us in 2063. This trek-tastic town is known for its Tourism and Trek Station, a hotspot for Star Trek fans and camera-toting tourists alike. Notable resident: a replica of the USS Enterprise which hundreds of Trekkies flock to every year for Vulcan’s annual “Spock Days” Star Trek convention.




What do we know about Snafu lake? Not much, except that it’s a lake, it’s in southern Yukon Territory, and it’s about 30 clicks from the border of British Columbia. Apparently people like to camp around Snafu lake… Fun Fact: for $300 per person, you can rent a canoe and fish for Northern Pike. Because nothing says fun like sitting in a boat, waiting…and waiting…


Poopoo Creek


Most unfortunately named, unexplored and ill-researched, Poopoo Creek remains a mystery to Canadians. Seriously, all I could find on Google were weather forecasts. I guess if you want to know more, you’ll need to be up shit creek .


Well How Aboot That?

Quebec’s sense of Humor (not that we have one): the funniest place-name in La Belle Province is “Saint Louis du Ha! Ha!”

Yeah, we don’t get it either.