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Peter MaKay cut his teeth under Lyin’ Brian Mulroney and grew long in the tooth under Deceivin’ Stephen Harper. Now, Canada’s Justice Minister says  he will leave politics before the 2015 federal election. He claims to be doing this because he loves his family. However, it is probably because he knows that, as the stress of being a father takes a toll on his formerly beautiful physique, he’ll never win the Sexiest MP Award again.

That’s right! Peter MacKay was Canada’s sexiest MP 10 times. How, you might ask, would a man with a face for radio ever win that award? You can figure that out yourself.

Amazingly, in our beauty-centric political scene, MaKay made himself famous for more than just his looks. Among many things he has called an ex-lover and fellow MP a “dog”, sold out the Progressive Conservatives, beer-bonged in college, had a military helicopter pick him up from vacation, and demonstrated that he is incapable of performing basic mathematics. It’s safe to say that his Sexiest MP Awards may actually be the high point of his career.

 

The poor guy can't get a break!

The poor guy can’t get a break!
Macleans

In recent history, Andrew Coyne summarized MacKay as “a politician of many titles, but little achievement.” Referencing MacKay’s dedication to his portfolio as Justice Minister, Coyne explains that he “shepherd[ed] a number of bills through Parliament that seemed almost designed to be found unconstitutional, even as Justice department lawyers were losing case after case at the Supreme Court.” Coyne’s tribute to MacKay is as generous as they come. Brutally, it ends, “though not gone, he is forgotten.”

 

Wait, did we say he CAN'T get a break? Bad timing...

Wait, did we say he CAN’T get a break? Bad timing…
The Star

So, does his departure mean anything? The CBC’s Evan Solomon thinks it’s a big deal, but his argument hinges on the misguided premise that MacKay would help the Conservatives hold seats in Atlantic Canada in 2015. A credible polling website, threehundredeight.com, showed that nearly 1-in-2 Atlantic Canadians planned to vote Liberal before the MacKay resignation. Therefore, Solomon’s premise appears false. Perhaps that’s why his opinion, like MacKay’s, never carried much weight at the adult table.

Alors, so long, Peter! It’s always hard to leave politics—probably even more so for a politician who held so many important portfolios without ever demonstrating an ounce of competence in any of them. It was a lucky run, but now it’s over. We wish him all the best with his young, growing family.