The True North Times
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As gracefully as a phoenix rising from the ashes of the smoldering bag of shit on your doorstep, Rebel Media has taken the Canadian journalism scene by storm. It’s new, it’s bold, and it would be fresh if it wasn’t just a lower budget version of Sun News Network. Still, it’s worth a look. Here’s what you need to know about the up-and-comer.

Rebel’s website is a work in progress—or it ought to be. It looks like something straight off Squarespace or Weebly. It is yet young, however, so it may be unfair to judge it before it reaches its full potential. With that in mind, it remains hard to overstate how simple this website is. When you visit www.therebel.media, there is a link to a story. If you click that link, you receive access to a short headline and a Youtube video. The only other things you can do on the site are sign up to “Be a Rebel,” and read biographies of Ezra Levant, Brian Lilley, and Michael Coren, who seem to run the site.

 

666: the mark of the beast.

666: the number of the beast.
Rebel

 

With 4,793 supporters as of March 2, 2015, it seems Levant has attracted more than half of Sun News’ audience to follow his latest venture. That’s an impressive proportion, but it’s still a very small number. If you seek a good basis for comparison, consider that more people follow the Insurance Corporation of British Columbia on Twitter than supported Ezra on the Rebel media website in its first few days. Is that a vote for big government, Ezra?

Brian Lilley had more supporters than Ezra did at the time of this review. His popularity challenges Ezra’s claim to the title of “biggest name in Canadian broadcasting.” In any case, Lilley’s biography focuses on the fact that he is from Hamilton. That seems to be a key part of his identity. “If you aren’t from Canada,” he writes, “you can just think of it as the Pittsburgh of Canada.”

 

"Oooooh, Pittsburgh, ya I still don't know what that is."

“Oooh, Pittsburgh…I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Borat

 

Glad he cleared that up. In his biography, Lilley expresses disdain for Quebec and dissatisfaction with incrementalism in the Conservative Party of Canada. He also brags that he has filled in for Glenn Beck, and has had work published in a bunch of places he can’t remember. So, yeah, this guy is quite the character.

Michael Coren, the third wheel at Rebel, wants you to know that he is a Catholic. While Ezra’s saves braggery for the last line of his biography and Lilley feigns memory loss to gloss over his many achievements, Coren plays holdem with his cards face up. He names what we have to assume is every award he has ever received, and concludes by mentioning that he wrote a book called Why Catholics Are Right. Nevertheless, his page still asks the reader to “Be a Rebel,” not a Catholic, so it’s clear that he, like someone watching internet pornography, isn’t on the site solely for missionary purposes.

What a group, and what a site! Now that you know what it’s all about, what does the rise of Rebel mean for you? At this point, it’s hard to say because, unless you’re already a huge fan of the site, you probably won’t interact with it at all. As for us, Rebel’s arrival means that The True North Times is no longer the new kid on the Canadian political satire block.

Wait, these guys are serious? That changes everything.