If a lady’s costume is more your style, check out our Halloween Costume ideas for women.
Every year on October 31st, young adults get loaded and head to parties dressed as puns, pop culture references, oversized genitalia, or, most famously, “sexy” versions of adorable childhood costumes. While sometimes funny, sometimes offensive, most costumes are often unoriginal. On all fronts, we’re here to help. If you don’t know what to be for Halloween, consider choosing from this list of funny, offensive, original costumes sure to make your most politically savvy friends smile:
Mike Duffy’s testimony?
Torontonian
1. Sexist John Tory
Perennial loser John Tory just took the mayoralty in the Toronto election, but things weren’t always so easy for the man that the National Post endorsed to replace Rob Ford (last election, the National Post supported Rob Ford). There was a time when Tory was considered sexist for suggesting that women could climb the corporate ladder by playing golf. Love it or hate it, you’d better imitate it. Walk around with a golf club and talk about giving public funding to all religious schools. People will probably feel sorry for you, so they’ll treat you nicely all evening.
Please sir, may I have another?
Michael Peake/Toronto Sun
2. Justin Trudeau “in over his head”
Pop a fishbowl on the noggin’, fill ‘er up, and breathe through a snorkel- you’ll know exactly what it’s like to be Justin Trudeau! Or, at very least, you’ll have a better idea of what life must be like for Justin Trudeau according to the Conservative Party. It’ll be hard to talk with a snorkel in your mouth, but that’s probably a good thing if you’re the golden boy. The hardest part of the costume will be what to do with the hair…if you gel it with egg yolks it should hold underwater. Handsome in any condition!
Big Daddy Pierre’s face suggests that Justin was in over his head here.
Common Ground
3. “Sexy” Stephen Harper
Enter the realm of fantasy. What would Stephen Harper look like in an alternate universe in which his sex appeal could be quantified and represented by a positive integer? You decide. Just make sure to keep Stevie’s trademark hair, and know that you can deflect haters’ insults by saying, “That is simply not true.” Good luck- you’ll need it.
One possibility: The Fresh Prince of 24 Sussex
Windsor Star
4. Pat Martin
Complain about the party, swear a lot, and keep telling people that you won’t tolerate “this jackboot shit.”
Looks clean, talks dirty
patmartin.ca
5. Sober Rob Ford
What’s better than disguising yourself as a politician? How about disguising yourself as a politician disguising himself? Try being a sober Rob Ford. That means no drinking (except maybe a little), no drugs (except for a hit or two), and no disturbing, expletive-laced rants (good luck!). This is the ultimate meta-costume, so you’re a hero if you can pull it off.
Business or pleasure? Such an unnecessary question.
Tyler Anderson/National Post
6. Speaker Andrew Scheer
Your friends are fighting. Watch them, but don’t do anything to stop them. Your friends are hammered and they’re about to do something really stupid. Watch them damage their futures and ruin other people’s lives, but don’t do anything about it. This costume is a free pass. You get to see everything happen, but you’re never allowed to intervene. Even if you want to.
“Fellas, I see what you’re doing, but I’m not going to do anything about it. Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m talking right now.”
Jake Wright
7. Peter MacKay at the beach
You have to be buff to do this costume justice. Peter is, after all, the Justice Minister. Cut some hair off your forehead to create the receding hairline, then tape it to your chest because we’re pretty sure bad-boy Peter looks more like Austin Powers than he does The Rock. Stuff your crotch to get some extra attention, talk excessively about how much you hate drugs and prostitution.
The beach is that way.
Sean Kilpatrick / THE CANADIAN PRESS
8. Tony Clement’s Gazebo
This costume costs $100 000, so it might be out of your price range. It’s also evidence of corruption. That doesn’t bother Tony, but it might bother you. Decide for yourself.
“I’m cool with it.”
Mitchel Raphael
9. Rob Anders
Spend the whole night looking for a seat. This isn’t so much a costume as a challenge. Are you up for it?
If you find a seat, you’re expected to sleep through the party.
Screengrab / Youtube
10. Retried General Andrew Leslie
Ask for a $7.70 in gas money when you show up at the door. Then go hang out with whoever dressed up as Justin Trudeau “in over his head.”
“This is how you pinch a penny.”
GRAHAM HUGHES / THE CANADIAN PRESS