It’s Friday night and you’re in Sin City: Stratford, P.E.I. Just across the Hillsborough Bridge from downtown Charlottetown, you’re far enough from the action that the people in the Delta can’t hear your quiet conversation, but still close enough that you can feel the party-hard energy radiating from the capital. You’re eager for some debauchery, so, like any good Islander, you start to scroll through the CBC website. Jackpot, baby! There’s a notice for advance polls.
The CBC reports that advance polls in Charlottetown, Stratford, Summerside, and Cornwall will be open from 9 am until 7 pm yesterday and November 1. Talk about opportunity! But don’t worry — even if you miss the advance days, you can still vote on November 3, the regular election day. That’s right, folks, Elections P.E.I. has your back in a way that only Elections P.E.I. can have your back, because, well, there’s little else for Elections P.E.I. workers to do in late October/early November. If you haven’t guessed by now, no one calls Stratford “Sin City”; it’s kind of like saying “Voldemort.”
Anyway, with so many chances to vote, for whom the hell are you voting (coarse language isn’t as abrasive when accompanied by proper grammar, eh?)? If you’re in Charlottetown, you know there’s a “hot” three-way race for Mayor. Clifford Lee, the 11-year incumbent, faces a stiff challenge from Philip Brown and Keith Kennedy. If it makes any difference, The Guardian reports that Kennedy lives on North River Road. Good to know!
If you’re a single-issue voter hoping or make a splash in a town hall or debate, consider making this your single issue: nine whales beached themselves on the shore of Sunbury Cove, just west of Summerside. We all know P.E.I. is a great place to live, but immigration on this scale (and during this season) is unprecedented. Do any of the town council candidates have a plan to deal with it before it’s out of control? What about Summerside Mayor Basil Stewart, who is running for re-election one last time? Stewart once voted to rescind the controversial ditch infill tax, and was even accused of bullying a local volunteer. Catch the career politician off-guard by asking him about the whales. Demand an answer on the spot. See if you can get the crowd behind you.
Even if you can’t, you should rejoice that it’s election season. Unlike many citizens of the world, you have the opportunity to vote. Use it! With advance polls open for only a few days, and tensions undoubtedly very high for candidates on the bubble, try trading your vote for an outrageous promise. Have some fun with it. After all, it’s a municipal election, so the worst possible outcome is that you elect a Rob Ford.