The Toronto mayoral race is like The Lion King in the Theatre of Politics- the damn thing never ends. The voting public is tired, so let’s mirror their fatigue by starting this article with a cliché. There’s no such thing as bad publicity. It’s true- and if you don’t believe it, just look at today’s headlines. Despite a fat load of bad publicity, the all-but-castrated Toronto mayor Rob Ford has managed to crawl out of a ditch, by one man’s account covered in blood and feces, and woo a few new voters. That is, he’s now registering 31% to Tory’s 34%, which means Ford is gaining fast.
What’s new? According to a new report, during his time as a coach of the Don Bosco Eagles football team, Ford showed up drunk to a football practice, tried to fight a teacher, and forced his players to roll around in goose crap while “berating them with profanity after winning a big game.” While this doesn’t seem surprising at all, the fact that several major news outlets are covering the story suggests that a few people care- but only a few people.
While the liberal media elite are lambasting Ford for being himself, the voting population seems to be warming up to the self-proclaimed “sick motherfucker”. The latest aggregate polls have Ford firmly in second place, well ahead of a sputtering Olivia Chow and trailing John Tory by a sizeable but slimmer margin. This goes to show that all you have to do to become Mayor is announce that you’re a violent football coach and make sure that you have more than enough to eat at home. You know, for survival purposes.
It also doesn’t hurt to have one of your opponents drop out of the race. In fact, when Karen Stintz dropped out of the race about a week ago, Ford picked up more of her support than did any other candidate. Apparently Stintz’ supporters couldn’t resist the guy who said he “would like to jam [Stintz], but she don’t want it.” The appeal is obvious. Ford’s opponents should take notice.
This is clearly a three horse race, so David Soknacki is the man to watch. Which current mayoral candidate wants to jam him? Recent events support the theory that the first candidate to lay claim gets the lion’s share of Soknacki’s support should he drop out. And that candidate can register another bump if he/she orders a group of high school students to roll around in animal feces. Governing isn’t rocket science. Just follow the formula.