Each week, Kyle Muzyka sifts through what our PM has been up to in this column, The Radical Adventures of Stephen Harper, for your personal enjoyment. (You can see his archived reviews of 24/SEVEN here.)
Welcome to this week’s Stephen Harper activity recap! Are you excited?
*crickets*
Anyways, this week on 24SEVEN, the most exciting thing to happen was the gratuitous amount of fireworks at the caboose of the video. If that doesn’t say anything about our Prime Minister, I’m not sure what does.
Edmundston, New Brunswick had the pleasure of hosting our leader, who was in town to attend the World Acadian Congress. He spoke French and announced the newest lieutenant governor, Jocelyne Roy-Vienneau.
The camera then seamlessly shifted to a scene of Stephen Harper talking on the phone, a staple of the 24SEVEN videos. This time, he was supposedly talking to his American counterpart, Barack Obama. As far as we know, he could have been trying to rid of a telemarketer, or he could have “accidentally” called Quest.
A frequent attendee of events, Harper also found himself celebrating 67 years of India’s independence. I guess a 3-4 minute speech is worth a free meal to our Prime Minister.
The video concludes with our leader sitting among a table of accountants, displaying his unique sense of bravery, and his unquenchable thirst for danger.
Some things, however, just don’t make it into 24SEVEN. Last time, we sat there and wondered just what Stephen Harper’s motives were concerning the resounding support for Israel. Well, it seems the people that are pro-palestinian also question his motives. It’s a tough situation over there, and we only wish that we could diffuse the situation with endless photos of puppies and kittens.
It seems as if there is some truth in 24SEVEN after all; Stephen Harper is prepared to assist the U.S. in the Iraq conflict. $5 million dollars has already been announced to be on the way in humanitarian funds, part of which could have easily come out of Stephen Harper’s haircut budget.
Finally, in what was the most important news of the week, Stephen Harper actually didn’t unfollow Homer Simpson on Twitter, as initially reported. Instead, he unfollowed Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev. When asked why the sudden change of his Twitter heart, a spokesman for the Harper regime went on to say, “The Putin regime’s aggressive behaviour in illegally occupying Ukraine speaks for itself. We have no interest in following Russian propaganda.”
This might be the most interesting quote to come out of the Harper camp, like ever.
Medvedev still follows Harper, though, prompting me to believe that he’s the type of friend who just won’t leave.
PHOTO OF THE WEEK
“I’m trying my hand at ventriloquism. This is Quackers!”
Sean Kilpatrick/The Canadian Press