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Recently, the Canadian Taxpayers Federation released the salary costs of the federal government’s information services staff. These number’s reveal that the 3,325 spin doctors that work for the Harper government cost $263 million a year, only $66 million less than the $329 million payroll of the House of Commons. Now, this may seem like a ridiculous amount of money to be used on recreational activities, but bare with me a moment while I show you the logic in these numbers.

 

Some may think that these numbers could be a detriment to Harper in the polls, but he wanted these costs to be released. While the seemingly high payroll for Ottawa’s spin doctors will forthright strike people of all demographics as needlessly costly, the publication of these numbers is an attempt to connect with the young voters–to show them all the money the thought-to-be uncool Harper throws at Parliament Hill’s rave DJs on the daily.

And to tell you the truth, I don’t think it’s a half-bad plan. Sure, Justin Trudeau may make the female voters in their early twenties week in the knees, but the love for spin doctors mixing up high energy, rumbling beats on their turn tables is one shared by young people all across Canada. Why CPAC only ever broadcasts the mind numbing banter of question period is beyond me. They could really start getting young people interested in the antics of Parliament Hill. $263 million on spin doctors alone? I mean, our MPs are probably throwing the rave of the century while the cameras are turned off.

 

 

Well, everyone, I just got saddening news. I was just informed the term spin doctors is not in reference to a collection of DJs committed to making your private function as successful and memorable as possible, but instead they’re…*sigh*, essentially propagandists, people hired to “spin” information as it is released to the public to enhance the image of the ruling party. My MP is going to be so confused when he receives all the LED pacifiers I just mailed to him.

Once upon a time, the conservative government vowed to the federal public service by 19,000 positions. Since they took office, the number of communications staff has risen by 163 personnel  at a cost of $48 million. But hey, you need communications staff to run a functioning government. Maybe $263 million isn’t too unreasonable of a government cost? Well that would be the case if Ottawa wasn’t constantly and heavily censoring government documents that are to be released to the public under the Access to Information Act. The government even went as far to censor out the word Canada in Government of Canada in a document given to the Toronto Star. It is the same Access to Information Act that protects the government’s right to do so.

Well, it seems there is still no end in sight to wasteful government spending, but that shouldn’t stop us from throwing the best rave Ottawa has ever seen! We’ll bring the real spin doctors to Parliament Hill.