The True North Times
  • It's Dynamite!
  • Yet to be castrated by Margaret Wente
  • First to podcast with Wilfrid Laurier
  • Peter Mansbridge’s bathroom reading material
  • For the sophisticated hoser
  • Ineligible for the Supreme Court
  • The only thing that Andrew Coyne DOESN'T hate
  • Winnipeg? There?
  • Exporting Beaver Hides to the Metropol since 1608
  • Now with 60 minute hours!

Some things were just made to go together: peanut butter and chocolate, burgers and fries, and shotguns and moonshine. One could argue that it’s these beautiful marriages that make the world go ‘round.

But one fertility doctor in Alberta has clearly never enjoyed gripping a shotgun in one hand and a jug of bootleg alcohol in the other.  This particular doctor has denied a single Caucasian woman in vitro fertilization from a sperm donor of different race.

Can you believe this guy? The vanilla swirl is one of the most sacred treasures on earth! Every mixed-race friend I have is better looking and intellectually and athletically superior to anyone else I know—and that goes for every flavor of swirl.


Pictured: Chocolate vanilla swirl in the makingMichael Dalder

Pictured: Chocolate vanilla swirl in the making
Michael Dalder


The Regional Fertility Program, a privately owned company in Calgary, released a statement that said one of their doctors merely voiced his own opinion. The clinic went on to say that the decades-old ban on creating mixed-race babies was removed last year, but the website had not properly been updated to reflect the change. Ah, the ol’ “forgot to update the website” excuse. The father of “forgot to invite you to the party’s Facebook group” and great grandson to “the carrier pigeon must have died on the way.”

Calvin Greene, the doctor who denied the woman the ability to conceive a mixed race baby, told the Calgary Harold, “I’m not sure that we should be creating rainbow families just because some single woman decides that that’s what she wants.” It is assumed that Greene shouted the statement at the reporter from his porch, while making love to his wife in the missionary position under a Confederate flag.

This incident has brought to light the issue that fertility clinics in Alberta and other parts of Canada are not regulated, and that doctors who work there set their own guidelines. Entering a sperm bank is like entering international waters, honey. Anything goes! Matt Gysler, the past president of the Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society, says fertility doctors, “essentially write their own rules and then the clinic, which is maybe a group of physicians, will rewrite their own rules and then agree to practice in a similar way.” A Spokeswoman for the Federal Health Minister stated, “Our government believes that discrimination in any form is unacceptable…Race is not a part of the Assisted Human Reproduction Act.” This is all well and good, but this act was torn apart by the Supreme Court, which, in 2010, ruled that the provinces have the jurisdiction to regulate fertility clinics. The act continues to prohibit some practices, but it is largely up to the doctors to decide what is best for the patient. Alberta Health Minister, Fred Horne, said this controversy has helped the Alberta Parliament to begin exploring government funded in vitro fertilization.

Ontario became the second province to fund IVF treatment in April of this year; Quebec was the first in 2010.

The cost of this treatment is the main deterrent for those who are either single or infertile, but who still wish to have children.  The cost is in the $10,000 range. Maybe it is time for the entirety of Canada to start thinking about government regulated IVF treatment. Who knows, maybe the government can sneak a few extra genes into every embryo: luscious, flowing, brown locks, glimmering blue-green eyes, French Canadian twang, and a rockin’ bod’.


Oh, I sure hope they do! Canada will the best looking Country on the planet.
Tony Caldwell