The True North Times
  • For the sophisticated hoser
  • Ineligible for the Supreme Court
  • Winnipeg? There?
  • Now with 60 minute hours!
  • The only thing that Andrew Coyne DOESN'T hate
  • Peter Mansbridge’s bathroom reading material
  • Yet to be castrated by Margaret Wente
  • Exporting Beaver Hides to the Metropol since 1608
  • First to podcast with Wilfrid Laurier
  • It's Dynamite!

Welcome to the True North Times’ interpretation of 24/SEVEN: a recap of the past week in the life of the Prime Minister of Canada, and more.

 

 

These weeks are sure flying by for our PM, with him being so busy. Luckily, we managed to get a little insight as to what went on last week by watching 24/SEVEN.

We debut with Harper hosting the “Saving Every Woman, Every Child: Within Arm’s Reach” summit in Toronto, where the first order of business was to think of an alternate (much shorter) name for the summit.

The initiative builds on the Muskoka summit, a conference that prioritized maternal and newborn health. If there’s anything that our Prime Minister needs, it’s more babies to kiss.

Tanzanian president Jakaya Kikwete was also present, as his country may be one of the beneficiaries of the $3.5 billion-dollar initiative.

Harper also met with Rufus Ewing, premier of the Turks and Caicos islands. Ewing brought his finest bottle of alcohol for our Prime Minister to gaze at endlessly in his dusty liquor cabinet.

Finally, and probably most importantly, commercial airplane passengers are now able to use their electronic devices during takeoff and landing, thanks to transport minister Lisa Raitt. Now, passengers have an extra fifteen minutes during which they can become increasingly frustrated while playing 2048.

 

Here’s what they missed:

The National Council of Canadian Muslims is suing Prime Minister Harper and his spokesman, Jason MacDonald, for linking their group with those that have ties with terrorism. Apparently, it didn’t fly too well with the council that MacDonald said they would not take criticism from groups with terrorist ties. Yikes.

Other than that, that’s all for this week from Prime Minister Harper’s desk! Stay tuned for busier weeks. Hopefully.