The True North Times
  • Peter Mansbridge’s bathroom reading material
  • For the sophisticated hoser
  • Now with 60 minute hours!
  • Yet to be castrated by Margaret Wente
  • Exporting Beaver Hides to the Metropol since 1608
  • The only thing that Andrew Coyne DOESN'T hate
  • Ineligible for the Supreme Court
  • It's Dynamite!
  • Winnipeg? There?
  • First to podcast with Wilfrid Laurier

Have you heard the news? No, not about Ford’s resurrection, that doesn’t happen for a bit. Rob Ford turns 45 today, and John Tory turns 60. Yes, that’s right, two Toronto mayoral candidates have the same birthday! Accordingly, both of their campaigns are throwing birthday bashes to celebrate.

Naturally, they’ve began trying to comically one up each other, and are trying to raise the events to Kardasian-esque levels of hedonistic obscenity. Both events will be selling all kinds of merchandise, including T-shirts and bobbleheads to be sported by both political tools and hipsters for years to come.

 

 

Now, it’s worth considering the Ford, blue-collar millionaire is still very much in the race for Toronto, trailing Chow by only a few points. White-collar millionaire John Tory, however, is behind them both, and may just be running as a form of midlife crisis. Thus, it’s no surprise that while Ford’s birthday party is taking place at his Scarborough campaign office, Tory has rented out the North York Novotel.

Now, this story may make us pause and consider Ford’s humility in holding a campaign office birthday party to celebrate his time on the trail and the journey ahead. But, he’s still in rehab and actually won’t be attending the party.

So, come for the party, stay for the bobblehead, and maybe we’ll even see a Rob Ford bobblehead. Fingers crossed. Lastly, don’t worry, you will be able to attend both of them.

Ford’s birthday party will be held at 2082 Lawrence Ave. E. from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. Tory’s will be held at 7 p.m. at the North York Novotel.  We hope to see you there.