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Welcome to the True North Times’ interpretation of 24/SEVEN: a recap of the past week in the life of the Prime Minister of Canada, and more.

 

 

Remember last week, when I said they seem to change the format every single week? Now, they have buttons at the end of the video to tell you to subscribe or watch more episodes! It stays on screen for about 10 seconds, which is so long you can almost hear the desperation for views through the headphones.

Five seconds into this week’s episode of 24SEVEN, we learn that Stephen Harper is relatable, because he has a Beatles coffee mug sitting on his desk. I also like the Beatles! Wow!

And then, about 10 seconds in, we see the PM ignoring his peers and listening to his iPod! He must have been listening to the new Skrillex album.

 

Untitled

“Shout to all my lost boys, as the kids say.”
24/SEVEN

 

But, back to the real important stuff here. On Thursday, the Prime Minister was hanging out with German chancellor Angela Merkel to talk about free trade. Meanwhile, some Canadian business leaders wrapped up a trade mission in Germany, prompting Jayson Myers of the Canadian Manufacturers and Exporters to call the deal “the Wayne Gretzky of trade deals.”

I’m not sure what he means here. Is it like, the best deal of all-time? Or is it like the Wayne Gretzky deal, one of the most lopsided deals of all-time? If it’s the latter, let’s hope we aren’t the ones dealing Gretzky, so were not forced to sit through a quarter century of mediocrity.

On Friday, Saturday and Sunday, our PM did absolutely nothing, according to 24SEVEN. We’re assuming he travelled back to Canada in that time, but other than that, we aren’t sure. We here at the True North Times can only make assumptions, but we have reason to believe that our PM may have had too many steins over there in Germany.

Monday, 24SEVEN changes the subject from our PM to the Treasury Board Minister Tony Clement, where he announced the winner of the National Appathon. This is pretty cool. The winner ended up being some students that created an app that helps new Canadians relocate to a place in which they can reach their utmost potential.

Stephen Harper met up with BC premier Christy Clark. That’s all we got.

The PM’s wife hung out with a child piano prodigy, one who can make a grown man feel shame for not being as good at something as he is.

On Tuesday, the Prime Minister met with the South Carolina Governor for some reason. Then, he hosted representatives from the Canadian Cancer Society, where we have the privilege of meeting a pretty cool little seven-year-old, Mike Meehan (I hope I spelled his name correctly). More on him a bit later.

Wednesday saw Mr. Harper mark Autism Day on the hill, which was also really cool.

The video ends with another scene with the seven-year-old. He was asked to give Stephen Harper some advice, and he answered “nothing.”

I immediately said to myself, “not touching that one,” while simultaneously hearing the PM say, “you’re the only one that doesn’t have [any advice] for me. Everyone else thinks they know how to do my job.”

This reeks of “we should put this clip into 24SEVEN. That’ll silence the haters.” But, this, and all of the other 24SEVENs that I’ve watched/talked about speak for themselves.

 

Here’s what they missed:

One of Harper’s most trusted loyalists was forced from his position last week. This is all stemming from the Eve Adams fiasco, which you can read about here.

Other than that, nothing really took place involving the Prime Minister, which is pretty much the norm. Here’s an article about a book that takes a  humourous look at our leader, and how the man responsible has won $25,000 for his work. So if uh, anyone wants to give this column a mention, We’d love to be in on that.