Twitter is a wonderful tool. It allows the average Joe to engage with prominent figures across any industry. It has been instrumental during democratic revolutions that have spurred across the world. It breaks the news before anyone else does. Twitter is a powerful tool, indeed.
Most importantly, Twitter is the ultimate venue for said “prominent figures” to display their true colours. Here’s a list of the Top 13 incidents where the Canadian public has had the pleasure of witnessing Twitter calamities. Who said Canadians are kind and passive? Pat Martin would disagree (and probably call you a smug, dirty pig bastard).
Let us begin!
13. Patrick Brazeau vs The Month of April
Our first comes from Ex-Senator Patrick Brazeau. His twitter debacle begins with what looks like a serious, startling development.
It’s April 1st, but he’s announcing something tomorrow…Maybe he’s serious?
Oh, hey! You got us! That was surprising. Not the fact that you fooled us, but that you said “Happy April’s Fool’s Day.” The…day belonging to April’s Fool?
Predictably, people were in an uproar. How dare he feign a resignation? We were so excited to see him leave. Furthermore, his grammar was atrocious. If there’s one thing that Canada will not stand for, Mr. Senator, it’s bad grammar (and the turmoil in the Ukraine. It deeply concerns us)
12. Patrick Brazeau vs Public Decency
Twice in a row! This time, Brazeau displays why he was the best Senator that this country could ask for. How does a former Senator like himself look for a new line of work? On Twitter, duh.
https://twitter.com/TheBrazman/statuses/406378813527191552
Honourable jobs, eh? I can accept that. After witnessing your performance in the Senate, you deserve a truly honourable job.
https://twitter.com/TheBrazman/statuses/406385809232003072
https://twitter.com/TheBrazman/statuses/406386759376044032
Hey, you could always be a writer. I would read that autobiography. Wait — whats that? You’re employed again? Congratulations! Where is your new place of “honest work”? A stripclub in Ottawa? Okay.
11. Justin Trudeau vs Used Car Salesmen of Canada
Mr. Trudeau tweeted that, according to public opinion, politicians are are less trusted than used car salesmen. Immediately, shit hit the fan.
@JustinTrudeau very disappointed to hear your comments re: ethics of used car salespeople, a group of hard working Canadians
— AutoDrive Canada (@AutoDriveCanada) September 19, 2013
And an apology came right after.
Sorry @AutoDriveCanada, poor choice of comparisons. I respect the hard work you all do and thanks for doing it. #sorryforcomparingyoutoEzra
— Justin Trudeau, MP (@JustinTrudeau) September 19, 2013
However, used car salesmen protector Ezra Levant would not let this transgression fade.
Trudeau mocks salesmen. Not everyone was born with a silver spoon in their mouth “@carpages: letter to @JustinTrudeau http://t.co/gJkNX6MF1F
— Ezra Levant (@ezralevant) September 19, 2013
Oh, no…Why would you poke the Ezra bear? INCOMING!
Sorta weird, sorta un-prime ministerial, sorta not grown up. In other words, classic Trudeau. “@JustinTrudeau: #sorryforcomparingyoutoEzra
— Ezra Levant (@ezralevant) September 19, 2013
Yeah. If anyone has the right to call someone out on their immaturity, it’s Ezra Levant.
10. Pat Martin vs A Manitoban
I have nothing to say. You’ll be seeing more from good ol’ Pat, soon enough.
9. Pat Martin vs Free Trade
Like right now!
8. Gerry Bryne vs Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson voiced her opposition to seal clubbing. Gerry Bryne laid the law down. Tabloid magazine esque.
7. Ujjal Dosanjh vs Ezra Levant
What is a former Premier of British Columbia doing here? Well, Ezra asked him a question. When Ezra asks you a question, it’s time to go full-offense.
@ezralevant you are just a hack. rest up your throat.
— Ujjal Dosanjh (@ujjaldosanjh) February 18, 2014
@ezralevant if it walks like a hack, talks like a hack it is doubtlessly a hack. U R a HACK. #cdnpoli
— Ujjal Dosanjh (@ujjaldosanjh) February 18, 2014
Not retracted my statement @ezralevant or other Cons jingoists #cdnpoli
— Ujjal Dosanjh (@ujjaldosanjh) February 18, 2014
The honourable Premier is right! Wise words from a man who governed a province of 4 million. I can see why they elected him.
6. Tony Clement vs A Teenager
Some teen criticized Mr. Clement for a spelling mistake. That kid is a real douche.
5. Patrick Brazeau vs A Journalist (and the concept of comedy)
Hah..ahahahaha…he called her a bitch. He didn’t mean it, though. It just needed to be said. So he did mean it, but he didn’t.
4. Naheed Nenshi vs Ezra Levant
Ezra seems to be pretty popular. Behold, one of the most awkward virtual fights in history.
@nenshi will you disclose whether any Pembina staff are working on your election campaign, or have donated to you? Is this a quid pro quo?
— Ezra Levant (@ezralevant) September 8, 2013
When did you stop beating your wife? RT @ezralevant: @nenshi Pembina staff are working on your election campaign, or have donated to you?
— Naheed Nenshi (@nenshi) September 8, 2013
I've never beat my wife. Pls answer my Q “@nenshi: When did you stop beating your wife? RT @ezralevant: Are Pembina working on your election
— Ezra Levant (@ezralevant) September 8, 2013
See what I mean about him being vicious and hyper-sensitive? But he tweets! “@nenshi: When did you stop beating your wife? RT @ezralevant…
— Ezra Levant (@ezralevant) September 8, 2013
I've never beat my wife, or anyone. But do let me know if your "personal life" is fair game. “@nenshi: When did you stop beating your wife?
— Ezra Levant (@ezralevant) September 8, 2013
Scoop on tomorrow's @eralevant show (does he still have a show?): Mayor accuses me of violence. Oh, please. Specialist in fake outrage.
— Naheed Nenshi (@nenshi) September 8, 2013
And yes, every time @ezralevant felt he was losing a debate (often) he would jump into personal insults and feigned outage.
— Naheed Nenshi (@nenshi) September 8, 2013
The real target of @nenshi's vicious attack wasn't me. It was the compliant Media Party. If you dare to ask him real questions, you're next.
— Ezra Levant (@ezralevant) September 8, 2013
3. Pat Martin vs Stephen Gordon
An economics professor at Université Laval had the nerve to discredit Mr. Martin’s assertions against the…wet…dream…nature of globalization and free trade. What the hell does he know about economics?
2. Pat Martin vs Critics
To be fair, this guy called him a fouled-mouth socialist. Only half of that is true. I’ll let you decide which half. As an MP, one has the well-honed ability to effectively debate, critically assess, and develop well-researched arguments to respond to their critics. Right? No?
1. Pat Martin vs The Conservatives
Here we are. The best of the best.
Alright. He’s passionate about a very alarming issue. Sure, his language is a bit unparliamentary, but he’s human.
Ummm…I think this is about to take an aggressive turn.
WOAH. Pat Martin should be a professor of arts and poetry at Université Laval. That’s some really intriguing imagery.
To you, it may be restraint, but I don’t think the Conservatives would like all the name-calling. And I know for a fact that rats across the country were offended by your preconceived notions regarding their promiscuity.
There you have it. Pat Martin managed to sweep the podium. His constituents should be proud. As upcoming elections draw closer, we can be sure to expect more of these rants and skirmishes (albeit, maybe not from Pat Martin. His Twitter account is gone). So maybe there wont be more of these happening anytime soon…Pat Martin was probably 1/3 of all rage-filled tweets in Canadian politics.
Oh well. We still have Ezra.